


Still alive

by ChazMoon123



Category: Guild Wars (Video Game), Guild Wars 2 (Video Game), Guild Wars Series (Video Games)
Genre: First Kiss, First Person, Fluff, I just adore Braham okay?, Love Confessions, M/M, Necromancer character, One Shot, Pining, very self indulgent
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-22
Updated: 2021-01-22
Packaged: 2021-03-14 10:34:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,549
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28919154
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChazMoon123/pseuds/ChazMoon123
Summary: A tender moment between two clueless, lovesick idiots after the fight with Drakkar. Spoiler warning for the Icebrood Saga!
Relationships: Braham Eirsson/Male Player Character, Braham Eirsson/Player Character, Braham Eirsson/Todd Bullard
Comments: 2
Kudos: 8





	Still alive

I came to slowly, disoriented, but alive. 

I was still me, in my body with my own thoughts and memories. I had expected to wake up in the Mists after Bangar shot me with Braham’s bow, but I found myself looking at Aurene instead. 

We were in her sanctuary up in the Shiverpeaks appearantly, and as it turned out, I was brought there soon after I was shot. She nursed me back to health from the brink of death. Her presence filled me with a kind of calmness and cleared my head, even as we were discussing quite troubling and concerning matters. And even though she couldn’t help me directly in the fight against Bangar and Jormag, just knowing that I still had her was enough. 

I hadn’t realized how much I had come to depend on our bond. Our connection was special, like we shared a part of our soul. Being with her cleansed me and made feel warm to my core every time. Now that she was THE Elder Dragon, I could also feel some of that magic she talked about flow through my body. It was all very strange to get used to, but if I ever stopped to think about any of it too much, I would have gone crazy a long time ago. My life was not even close to normal, but I knew I wouldn’t trade the family I gained for anything.

A portion of said family was waiting for me out in the hallway. I was relieved to see them all unharmed. Drakkar and Jormag’s constant whispering took a toll on everyone, but we were still in one piece. We had a lot to do though. Now that Bangar was claiming to be the one and only dragon champion, things were going to become even more complicated than before, if that was possible at all. I sent everyone on their way and was about to take my leave as well, when I noticed Braham still lingering behind. I sent him a questioning look, to which he looked at Aurene, and then at the door leading to the hallway. I took the hint and followed him out after saying goodbye to my scion.

We were well away from the sanctuary, close to the asura gate at a more secured spot. Braham looked fidgety and nervous as he turned to face me.

’Is everything alright, Braham?’

He sighed, not quite meeting my eyes ’I wanted to apologize, boss.’

I frowned, confused ’What for?’

When his eyes finally met mine, I could practically see guilt eating away at his soul. ’Because I abandoned you. I wasn’t strong enough to resist Jormag’s whispers. And you paid the price.’

’I’m not blaming you for that, none of you. Jormag had a strong voice, you resisted her as much as you could.’

’But I do,’ he stepped forward and took my arms in his hands ’I’ve abandoned you before...and I’m not proud of that...’

My heart ached for him a little, the memory of him kneeling next to his dead mother still vivid in my memory. How could it not be? I had a lot of respect for Eir. She had been a great warrior, one of the greatest. And while she couldn’t raise Braham herself, they still managed to form a bond over the short time they spent together. Braham was the kind of person who felt strongly about everyone, and despite not knowing his mother well he still admired her as a hero. Mordremoth creating a replica of her to taunt him during our final battle was probably the last straw.

’You were grieving, Braham. You lost your mother, and you felt that you needed to be elsewhere. I will never fault you for that.’

He scoffed, hands further sliding down on my arms. It was slightly distracting, feeling the warmth and light pressure of his palms. ’I was grieving for a while, but then I was throwing a tantrum like an adolescent child. All the while you were dealing with the White Mantle, two dragons, and then a GOD. I missed out on so many opportunities to help you and be there for you because I was too stupid to see that I was wrong. Rox kept telling me to talk to you but...I was scared...’

’Scared?’ I quirked an eyebrow.

His cheeks turned a light pink under my gaze ’I was scared you wouldn’t want to see me anymore. That I blew my chance to be a part of your guild. Your family.’

A chuckle broke free at the thought, because I would never shut someone I already cared for so deeply out so easily. ’I had the same fears,’ I confessed ’I feared you were going to distance yourself completely, and you’d never come back to us.’

’Well, I couldn’t leave Taimi alone. She needs her big brother around to watch over her.’ I couldn’t help but smile at that, heart warm. She was like a little sister figure to us, despite her being an asura. I didn’t mind that though, ours was an unusual family.

’We all need you, Braham. Now more than ever.’

’You all...what about YOU, Commander?’

My smile turned a little sad ’You know I need you. Always have, even if I didn’t really know that. I was used to having to solve problems on my own, so when I met all of you, I had to get used to having people I could rely on. But you always had my back, followed me to the thickest of fights, never asked for anything in return.’

’I don’t need anything in return. All I want is for you to forgive me, now and in the future. Gods know this won’t be the last time I do something stupid.’

’I already have. So stop beating yourself up over this.’ I only then noticed that he was holding my hands in his own. When did that happen? I had no idea, but it felt nice. His hands were so much bigger than mine, a bit rough to the touch, but still so gentle.

’You know...I really meant it when I told you that I loved you...’ he said softly, fingers tracing a circle into my palm. My heart did something weird after hearing this. Up on the ship, after the fight with Kralkatorrik had been over, I took it as a drunken quip. But now...

I had been looking at our hands, cheeks slowly gaining heat, but then I felt his eyes on me and I had to look up at Braham, found him staring back at me. My throat closed off when I saw how soft his face had become. His expression held so much trust, compassion, and love. Directed at me. He had always had this expression for me, but I never really stopped to analyse it. Now it did things to me, things I didn’t know if I should be scared of or happy about.

’I...Braham--’

’It’s okay boss, if you don’t feel the same. I just...you almost died, again. When I saw you lying there, something snapped in me. It could have been another lost opportunity to tell you just how much you mean to me. This time, I wanted to make sure you knew.’

I usually knew what to say. How to reassure people, how to encourage fighters, how to deliver bad news to loved ones, how to lead an army of people to battle. Appearantly that did nothing to help me convey my feelings. And what were my feelings? I wasn’t even sure about that. I never had time to digest my thoughts and emotions. I was always on the move, always thinking of our next step in defeating whatever enemy we were up against. I was the Pact Commander. It was my duty to be ready for everything. That didn’t include feelings though.

But...I loved Braham, of course I did. I knew that much. I adored the Norn greatly. His fiery spirit, his stubbornness, his kindness and loyalty, his sense of humor. I felt the most comfortable with him, besides Taimi. Braham was just a reassuring presence to be around. He had a big heart, the heart of a great warrior. If his mother were alive, she would be so proud of the things he accomplished. But was it just brotherly love?

I wasn’t so sure about that. Not with the things I kept noticing about him, in hindsight. The way his face lit up when he smiled or laughed, the way his eyes crinkled and twinkled with joy. Seeing that made me smile too, made my chest warm and light. Made me feel like nothing else mattered in that moment. And when we went into battle, these thoughts made me want to win, stay alive. To see him and hear him laugh again, to spend another night with him and our guild sitting around a fire or in some rundown tavern. Exhausted, but alive. And together. I cherished all of my family. 

Even so, Braham was extra special to me, I realized. I worried about him so much. And when I thought he wanted nothing to do with me anymore it broke my heart. I had missed him more than I thought I would. It made me scared. I had never felt this way before. I didn’t know how to act upon my feelings either. What was I supposed to do now? What was I supposed to say?

’I...don’t know what to say, Braham.’ I admitted nervously, stomach turning with anxiety.

’You don’t have to say anything. I wasn’t expecting you to. I just wanted to tell you.’

I grimaced at his expression. He was smiling, but it was all wrong. It wasn’t soft and relaxed. His brows were slightly hunched together, and the corners of his mouth were tense. The smile didn’t reach his eyes either.   
He let go of my hands and took a step back. My heart sank as he did so. It felt like the sun had retreated behind a big cloud, hiding its light and warmth from me. I knew I had to do something. Anything. But what?

I searched his face in panic, trying to think of something to reassure him that his feelings weren’t lost on me. That he was really important to me too. My eyes came to rest on his lips. I had entertained the idea of kissing those full lips before. I just hadn’t been sure I wouldn’t get punched for it. But now I knew I wouldn’t. Maybe it was a dumb idea. But hell if I cared. That was the best I got.

I reached out and grabbed the hems of his coat, pulled him down so that our heads were at the same level. I spent a few seconds just studying his face, looking for signs of discomfort. But I could only see surprise and...something, deep in Braham’s eyes. Our noses were almost touching now, I felt his warm puffs of bearth on my face.

’Commander?...Todd?’

My breath hitched, stuck in my throat. I don’t think I had ever heard him say my name like that. Hesitant and timid, but hopeful at the same time. Most of the time people used titles and nicknames to address me, sometimes I almost forgot I even had a name. It was a healthy reminder that I was human. I was a person with individual needs and goals. Not just a commander.

I shut my eyes and crashed our lips together desperately, Braham’s mouth so soft against mine. I sighed, and smiled when I felt him press back, one hand framing my jaw, while the other held my hand still grasping his coat. I tilted my head a little to the side, and felt that I never wanted to let go.

We came apart slightly short of breath. I knew my face was probably undeniably red, but Braham wasn’t any better either. I thought the look suited him though. Matched his red hair. That thought made me smile.

’Does that mean...?’

’That the next time you go off on your own and disappear without telling anyone where you went, I’ll personally go and kick your ass back to our camp? Yes.’

He huffed and rubbed our noses together, expression tender once again ’I might even enjoy that.’

’Don’t tempt me.’

We both laughed a little, but didn’t pull away. I noticed a small white smudge of paint on the side of his nose and chuckled again, moving to wipe it off.

’What is it?’ he asked with an amused tilt to his voice.

’You got some of my facepaint on you. And nooow...you're clean.’

He hummed, tracing a finger along my jaw ’I’ve always wondered why you wear it. I rarely see your face without it.’ I leaned into his touch without thinking much of it, exhaling deeply.

’Mostly to conceal my identity. Harnessing necromancer magic was never something people liked to see, and it meant that it was best they didn’t know I was the one doing it. Now it’s better to hide my face. I’m the Commander, and that means a lot of sneaking around. If people don’t know me, I can hide better.’

Braham tilted his head a little with a toughtful look ’You just want to look intimidating, don’t you?’

’Is it working?’ I smirked.

’You're very scary. I’m shaking in my boots.’

I laughed and kissed him again. I could feel his smile against my lips, and I smiled too. It was a very sloppy kiss with a lot of giggling into each others’ mouth, but I didn’t care. I treasured every moment. Which eventually had to come to an end, as much as it disappointed me.

I sighed, a little tiredly when we came apart again, and let go of his coat. ’As much as I’d love to stay with you now, I have preparations to make. I promised to be elsewhere.’

Braham nodded, slowly let go of me as well and straightened up ’I know, you're still the boss. I have to go too. I told Taimi I’d visit her and update her on things. She was worried sick about you. We all were.’

’I better pay her a visit as well then, show her I’m really okay. I want to discuss a few things with her anyway.’ I paused, and laid my hand on his arm ’And we will talk too, about this, the two of us. We have a lot to discuss. I feel like we never get the chance to properly talk.’

’True enough. Always in the middle of some world ending catastrophy. Not that I wouldn’t stand by you. You know I’m always up for a fight. But I would like for us to be able to talk in peace for once.’

’I’d like that too.’ I smiled.

My heart did a little tapdance when Braham gave me a chaste goodbye kiss as we parted ways by the asura gate. I was smiling to myself the whole time to my next destination. My steps had an extra bounce to them, and I felt very chipper.

Things might just start looking up for us.

**Author's Note:**

> This has been on my phone for at least a year now if memory serves, found it again today, and I kinda like it. So there you have it! Braham is such a sweet dude, I love his relationship with the Commander.
> 
> Comments and kudos are always greatly appreciated :)


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